How do I know it's abuse?
Someone who is abusive may:
- Act jealous or possessive and say it is out of love
- Blame you for their behavior, saying "you're making me do this to you"
- Destroy or threaten to destroy your things
- Threaten to hurt you, themselves, your family members, your friends, or your pets
- Touch you in a way that hurts or scares you, or in any way that you do not want to be touched
- Force sex or sexual acts in ways or at times that are not comfortable for you
- Threaten to report you to immigration or to destroy your papers
- Get angry unpredictably or in a way that scares you
- Blame you, others, alcohol, stress, depression, etc., for their violent behavior
- Belittle or make fun of your concerns and fears about your relationship
- Threaten to "out" you to family, friends or work
- Act differently in public than in private
- Isolate you by making it difficult or impossible to be with your family or friends.
- Threaten to take your children and/or claim you won't see them again
- Make promises to change but does not follow through
Some behaviors that have been identified to be especially dangerous:
- Threatening to kill you or themselves, especially if the abuser has access to weapons
- Strangling, choking
- Controlling most or all of your activities