For Domestic Violence Survivors and their Family, Friends and Co-workers
How to Help
Survivors of domestic violence usually talk to a friend or family member before they access services. If you are a family member or friend of someone experiencing domestic abuse, the following points are important to remember.
- Listen, without judgment. You do not need to offer advice or solve the problem. Listening will give the survivor an opportunity to talk openly and honestly about what s/he is experiencing. Do not criticize the abusive partner. The victim may feel compelled now or later to defend him or her.
- Believe the survivor. Affirm her/his experience. Expressing disbelief about how a nice person could be abusive may result in the survivor’s self-blame.
- Assure survivors that the abuse is not their fault. Abusive behavior is a choice.
- Respect the privacy of a friend or family member. Be respectful of safety concerns the survivor might express, and understand that the survivor has the right to make her/his own decisions.
- Let your friend or family member know that laws and services exist to protect and to help her/him. Encourage the person to call the Washington State Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-562-6025, for more information and for resources that are conveniently located and culturally appropriate.
- If you suspect that a co-worker is experiencing domestic violence, express your concern and offer the Domestic Violence Hotline number. Be respectful of the individual’s privacy. Listen, without judging, if your co-worker discloses domestic abuse to you. Unlike child abuse, there are no laws requiring that such disclosures be reported to police. Let your co-worker know that s/he is not to blame for the abuse, and encourage your co-worker to seek assistance appropriate to the individual’s circumstances.
Information
For more information on domestic violence and available resources, see How to Get Help and FAQs.
For more information, call the Seattle Human Services Department’s Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Prevention program at 206-233-2774, or e-mail endviolence@seattle.gov.
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